I can't hold on
[to what i want when i'm stretched so thin]
It's all too much to take in
I can't hold on
[to anything watching everything spin]
With thoughts of failure sinking in
~By Myself - Linkin Park~

This seems to be very apt at this moment. Everything's hazy and i am seriously worn. I dunno from what but like i always say. It's probably accumulative. Hopefully no one will start to ask what is wrong because there is nothing i can say nor do. It's no big deal. How about lack of sleep? I wanna go away. Somewhere. Anywhere. Away from civilisation before school term starts. Oh God, don't even remind me...

Sometimes in life, you learn to make decisions. Sometimes in life, you don't make decisions quick enough and so very often, you end up thinking of the "i could have's". But if you were to take into account even single "i could have's", then life would not only be a time waster, you would end up busying yourself with being remorseful, rather than do something productive instead. So the point is...there are too many "i could have's" so stop reproaching yourself. It may seem like you are making youself reflect on what went wrong but perhaps it's the reason to why some of us do not move on to take on bigger challanges or stare other problems straight in the eye and scream "Come and get me...if you can" Somehow, it always manage catch up. Your problems i mean. They have a strange way of doing so. So what is there left to do? Live with it or try to fight your way through? Are you a fighter? I try to be. But everyone gets tired along the way.

It is appalling how we always shed tears when we are upset. It is even worse when we are unable to. It's maddening.

I am in a strange, tired and pissy mood. Don't ask.

she spoke at
2:05 AM