THIS IS JUST AN EXCUSE TO PROCRASTINATE.

With only 2 hours left before my philo ass-ay is due. I am still bumming. Shame on me. *shrugs* What to do. My brain has now become a selected breeding ground for lazy germs. Woot! Life is so good without having to think about anything. Sadly...that can only happen in my dreams. No wait. Dreaming = Thinking in one's sleep? Blah.

Anyway...life's pretty much the same old same old. This semester is strangely hard to get through. *nudge at a certain someone*: U think its cuz we don't see each other as much? Lol. Withdrawal symptoms? Feeling more empty? Bleh. I dunno. But thankfully it is all going to end so. Yeah right kossy...keep telling yourself that and you might just believe in it.

Oh and boy oh boy i got the job at NUS open house as a marshall. Woot! Money! Just when i needed you most! $80 for a 2-7 job. Pretty neat eh? But the bloody organinsing committee didn't send me any freaking mails. Had to hear it through a friend. Machiam sai. She was saying she saw my name and that don't tell her its another Kossy. Haha. Kossy Ng. Come on. What are the chances? I'd like to shamelessly say that i am the one and only Kossy in singapore. Muhaha. Not unless someone proves me otherwise. *winks*

Okie. Back to ass-ay already.

Nuff said.

she spoke at
2:59 PM

*heaves a huge sigh of relief* Just in case anyone was wondering what Double K stand for, its Kim and Kos, the 2 resident DJs for this year's IFG canoe polo. Heh. M really glad that it went rather well despite us being super lame. So far comments and feedback have been really positive!!! Not to mention encouraging as well. Kai was saying that maybe they should get Double K to Emcee the national champs. Woot!!! Kudos to great song taste and our mo-chi eh kim? *nudge nudge winks winks* (Ooh and who could forget Kim's sexy dance with the scottish? Eh Kim...he's sexier than u! Buck up lah! >_<) Maybe Kim and i should try hosting some morning talkshow and get sacked for trying too hard in coming up with strings of corny introductions to songs and worse still, if we were to become sports commentators!!! Lol. Wanna get a taste of the lameness unleashed at the poolside today? Here goes.

Kos: So kim, do you find it hard to breathe after a canoe polo match?
Kim: Yes kos, i think so. I find it very hard to breathe after a match
Both: So here's 'harder to breathe' by Maroon 5

-_-||| Should i even go on???

But here's 2 thumbs up (sorry only have 2 thumbs!) to the IFG committee whom m sure put in alot of effort in trying to make this event a success. It was such a fun morning. ^_^ (despite once again having loads of work undone. Yikes.)

I've been procristinating so much. *sheepish smile* Still struggling to finish my philo essay and not to mention so much more stuff left undone. Kossy = Cannot make it slacker/bummer/lamer. Yes it roughly translates to that. Lol. Alvin is right...school is great...only the schoolwork suck. Heh. But getting them to remove modules? Wow. That'll be such a good life man. I wish i may i wish i might that nus will no longer leave us dumbfounded with schoolwork plights. Lol. M too high right now. Gotta go do work now.

Half a K. Out.
(how original...)

she spoke at
2:37 AM

This world
This world is cold
But you don't
You don't have to go
You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems to care
Your mother's gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bear

But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know

Your days
You say they're way too long
And your nights
You can't sleep at all
Hold on
And you're not sure what you're waiting for, but you don't want to know more
And you're not sure what you're looking for, but you don't want to know more

But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on

What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?
Do you know what you're doing to me?
Go ahead...What are you waiting for?

Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Hold on



I'm currently in love with good charlotte and dear billy billy billy...this song is very apt right now except for the father/mother part.

It's sad how sometimes things don't go according to plan. Like we all mentioned so many times before...human emotions are complex. You don't really know how to control it. Sometimes people walk away from you for the sake of the better. But deep down inside, those people don't go very far. Or do they? Things have changed yet it seems like it is still the same. Just like how you feel like you are moving on yet staying put at the same time. But things happen for a reason. I still believe in that. Its always painful to see someone walk away. Lets just hope that this is just a stroll. Or maybe there shouldn't be an avenue for hope? I shall seize to think. For now.

I can't believe that i'm awake. Just posted a long entry in the philo blog. Which reminds me that i should start writing my essay and do my poster. *shrugs* F*** school dudes and babes!!! We should all get wasted in hopes to prolong procrastination. Or not...

Anyway it was really great to be 'lancing' with all of u guys. Boy can u all really move. Ariel...kim...fries...jamie...even lizard was bouncing around. And who wouldn't agree that Joey looked damn hot that night. Hope to do this again sometime.

I am mad.

she spoke at
4:27 AM

Yay! Doc said that i am making good progress. In fact, i'd prolly not have to go back to visit him anymore considering that he gave me an open date appointment that is valid for a year. Lol.

Sad thing tho...my bod is aching madly from gym yst night. Darn it. *curses under breath* But all the right parts are hurting so does it mean i did a good job? *thinks abs* And Kim...u are really strong. Ur just modest. And wow...U are also faster now. Heh. Sigh. Can't even stretch bod without feeling pain. -_-|||

Ooh...guess what? I found my "Fight Club"!!! Thank God. So it was with Kat. *phew* Anyone of u all owe me things? Better own up ah!!! *looks around at crowd* Oh and thank u Mel for the invitation. ^_^ it was gooooooood.....*slurps slurps*

I wanna dance!!! I don't like to chiong but i like to dance. *panics* Altho its quite un-me if u see me on the dancefloor. Man...music makes me move!!! Okie..god knows why m actually writing this down. Must be MTV. *shakes head* And why is Simple Plan sounding so much like Blink 182? How unoriginal. What is the reason for strange looking MTVs these day? Masked woman flashing their asses, men in lipsticks...interesting song tho. Ahhh...its by 'The Killers'!!! Great stuff.

Hmm...one more thing. Assignments are starting to pour in. Man. My dam must be damn weak. Why is it already flooding? Yeah. This is a very bad sem. M totally unfoccused. Absolutely tired. Lost. I feel like such a bum. But i don't seem to care. Yikes! Let's just hope that i'd get slapped awake by myself soon. I need a good wake up call. *says no to those who wanna seize this chance to slap me* Dream on peepz. And yes. M being very self-absorbed right now. Lol.

Sometimes i think that things can be so simple. So why make it so complex?

I am aching. Ouch.

she spoke at
1:13 AM

Okie...so i am already about 2 hrs late. Bleh. V'day just flew by like any other day. And i spent it in school. *lol* How cool is that? As usual...no hot dates whatsoever. Had a friend who's friend gave him a date (as in the fruit) so that he wouldn't be dateless. How original. Trust people to think of things like that. Yeah today's friendship day too. ^_^ A pity i didn't manage to give a few of my buddies the prezzie i did. So for the rest who got kisses from me...*winks*

IF2208 is such a stressful module. Okie maybe not exactly stressful but having like a class of 20-something scrutinizing ur work ain't really a walk in the park either. Lol. Now now why did i get myself into something like that? But i guess it has been a pretty fun and interactive class. At least we're saved from the lecture and tutorial mundanes. Heh.

CSI season 5 is coming on AXN this wed!!!

Someone just told me that i am hard to catch. Maybe huh? But like someone else said...maybe all who had tried were not the right ones. So maybe when that special someone *dreams* comes along, i might just stop flying. ^_^ So much for waiting huh? 21 years and counting. Lol. Not sounding too desperate m i? Kinda cool when we were using petrol stations as analogies. We're all like cars, occasionally driving into petrol stations. And our duration of stay would depend on whether the person fills our car with oil (ie. hints) and that would determine if the car stays or leaves. Interesting eh? So if a petrol station doesn't provide u with oil. Maybe it is time to drive away.

So many i have driven in and out of. Some did try. Perhaps with only the wrong oil.
Well...to everyone out there. Have a great Valentines' and don't forget to spread the love!!! And to all the singles ot there!!! Have fun!!! Cuz u'll never know when u can ever feel so free again. *winks* And girl...i really loved the card. ^_^ Maybe i am emotional but thank u so much!!!

All or nothing.
Not my cup of tea.
What is the point of losing everything.
When there is the choice of holding on to something else?

she spoke at
1:55 AM

This is Constantine. John Constantine. Asshole.

Keanu's punchline rocks! Just caught Constantine with my parents today. Pretty good i would say although it fell a LITTLE short of my expectations. Maybe i expected too much. But it was worth the money. CGI effects were good. And did i mentioned i adored the wings that the half-breeds were given? Darn it. I want one to hang on my room wall!!!

Anyway today's visit to uncle's place was fun as usual cuz all we did was play cards. Yup. Nothing but gambling this chinese new year. Heh. Yeah...and i caught my aunt just when she was being possessed by this kid spirit who is suppose to bring luck to everyone. Okie. Sounds scary? Well...my aunt is a medium. But most of the time the spirit comes into her. So its sorta her semi profession to help people who seek help from her. And she does it via the spirits. Trust me. I have seen her "live" and no kidding man...it is real. So today she was suppose to be possessed by some child spirit. So she was sucking on a (gold) pacifier and bouncing around shrieking in a high-pitched kiddy voice. And guess what? she managed to flatten the pacifier with her teeth. U do know how hard gold is right? Wow. And yeah she was picking 4D numbers. Lol. Yup. Tho it was for us to decipher on our own. Its better than nothing! Heh. Interesting family my dad has eh?

Sometimes u just want to give it all up and just walk away. But u know that sometimes u just can't.

I am disappointed.

she spoke at
4:02 AM

Woo hoo!!! First day of CNY!!! Okie...something very funny happened today. M sure of bad bad bad karma after all these. LOL. Okie. Mom, dad and i devised a very evil plan to save dad some ang pows and to let me earn some ang pows. Was heading to ah ma/aunt's place when my aunt called to say that alot of people were at her place. Alright here goes what the conversation was roughly like (paraphrased).

Dad: Wa...like that must give alot of ang pows.
Me: *ponders abit* If not then u all go somewhere and drop me there lah. Then i go take ang pows. (everyone laughs) Then later i msg u when everyone has left. So u won't have to give ang pows.
(everyone laughs madly at the evil plan)
All: (engages in a small talk on karma)
Me: I'm going to have negative karma man...
Dad: Don't want lah (to the plan)
Mom: Go ahead lah. Say already must do. Ur dad always change his mind one. We are family mah. Must stay united. (everyone laughs) En Ai.
Me: Mom...we cannot make it leh. Damn cheapskate can? (everyone erupts into laughter again...and i recall mom bending over in gwaffles)

Okie...thing was...when i reached my ah ma/aunt's place, everyone had already left. And i was lucky enough to catch ONE family on my way out. And i got 1 ang pow in the end. Darn it. Must be the karma i tell u. But what a great family i have!!! LOL. We are all gonna get bad karma. Maybe a good one in trying to help dad save $$$ and a good one for them to get me some $$$. LOL.

So today went pretty well. But lost at blackjack and 'in-between' again. Nothing new. Gonna go over again to uncle's place tmr for more food and blackjack. And no i am not a gambler. It's new year!!! Heh. Hmm...my cousin got himself a girlfriend. Interesting...and he's one crutches. Ouch. Fractured his ankle during soccer. Man...why is everyone getting injured? Oh and fortunately no one asked if i had a bf. *wipes sweat* Heh. M hopeless i tell u.

Anyway...m in a good mood now. *smiles* shall not make any further comments. *winks*

Alvin: It was fun talking to u. Considering how long it is for a first. Heh. And for all the song recommendations. Great! Heh. Breaking benjamin is good!!!

Tmr will be a better day. It just dawned upon me how lucky we all are. To be able to live the day to the fullest. That is all i am asking for.

When was the last time u did something for the first time?
Today. I did.

she spoke at
4:26 AM

Tis the time for ang pows and food! Haha. Time to get rich and fat. Yikes. HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR people!!!

Never have i felt so tired and drained. And let me remind u that crying is a great therapy. I guess sometimes u just need to get it all out. Thank u to all who've been there and sorry if i scared u. Things will start to get better i hope.

And i just realized that i am human too.

Physio is going alright but my ass is hurting from the stupid machine that's suppose to work ur hamstrings. I presume that the aching feeling stretched from the hamstrings all the way to my ass. Ouch. Anyway the physiotherapist said i could resume polo but mom still says no. Yeah i can understand how she feels. So i guess i'd be good and listen to her for all our sake. Especially mine. I love u. ^_^

Kim: Congrats again!!! U are going to drive me ard!!! I don't care. LOL.
Sheri: Congrats too!!! I'm damn damn happy for u!!! Pls do tell me how it goes!!!
Ariel: Thanx for the cookies!!! They are great!!!
Evelyn: Congrats on the acceptance! Its hard to walk away from something but sometimes...that is just how life is. Sigh. I will really miss u.

I can't believe i am feeling this.
It is quite amazing. Funny how a few words can make ur day. I was actually grinning like a jackass the other day. *clears throat* Hmmm...let's just say that i almost forgot how it feels like to feel this way. And i am enjoying this quite abit. ^_^ Its Valentine's Day this monday. Heh. *pitter patter pitter patter* LOL.

zZzZzZzZzZzZzZz...*whisk me off to my dreamworld*

she spoke at
2:51 AM

After a series of unfortunate happenings at the start of 2005, one can't help but think if that is a sign for a bad year ahead. Seriously, this year has been really sucky (so far!). And may i remind u that it is only the 3rd of Feb. Bleh. So it is true that life has all its ups and downs but who really remember all the ups when the downs are all that is actually buggin the hell outta u.

But as someone once said...'when u are so down, the only way is up'. So here's hoping that everything will once again regain its balance and that everything will be brighter after CNY. Cuz the bleakness of every single shitass thing that has happened is not doing anyone any good.

Maybe it is all psychological but then again, we are all entitled to be selfish bitches and bastards to weep and complain about the puny issues of our so-called lives ainnit?

I refuse to go downhill anymore.

Sleepers is a really good book. Do pick it up when u have the time. If u don't, make time. Heh. Yeah...it is really that good. Those bloody bastards ought to be shot i tell u. Okie m talking bout the characters here. No references to anyone i know. Cuz as u can see my blog is usually very vague. So no guessing here...m talking bout the freaking prison guards. Such conniving and inhumane pieces of shit!!!

Alrighty peepz, do excuse the language. M tired. And being occasionally anal.

GONG HEI FATT CHOY.

she spoke at
2:11 PM