Monday, May 16, 2005
Was just browsing thru my old diary at opendairy.com and i realize that so many things i wrote then made so much more sense. Maybe cuz that was a rougher period than it was now. Afterall...they all say that inspiration hits u at the strangest time. This one is about love and of course written by Tony Parsons. One of my all time favourite novel."Man and Wife" 5/15/2004"Sometimes we have to stay away from the things we love. And learn to appreciate the things we need." -Tony Parsons
Well well...is this any true? Someone once asked me a question of whether i would choose the person whom i love or love the person i am with. Something along that line. It's strange that one is not any better or worse than the other. It all comes down to a choice of what u love and what u need to do. Somehow all my recent entries are addressing this issue. Perhaps it speaks true of life. What are ur takes on this one? I would like to hear some answers. Was reading "Man and Wife" by Tony Parson the other day and that was where i stumbled upon this quote. It set me thinking. If i were to choose the person i love, and hurt the person i am with, what if i come to realise that the one whom i love is not love afterall. We all have our share of folly, where lust, admiration, respect, and whatever other complicated emotions can become so perplexed that we mistake it for love. Then BOOM! Big mistake. No turning back and just like that, u have lost both the person u love and the person u were with. Scary thought izzen it? But yet again, izzen life a gamble? Everything has risks involved. U win some, u lose some. Nothing more, nothing less.
"If u are capable of loving someone, then there's never total freedom. There can't be. You give it up. You give up your freedom. For something that's better." - Tony Parsons
For someone like me, committment seems to be an unavoidable issue. Well, it's often the "i dun think i can commit" phrase that replays in my head whenever a possible partner comes along. Is it really that frightening to step into a relationship? Do freedom seekers like me get put off by the turmoils of having to lose personal space and learn to have a shared boundary when one enters a relationship? Perhaps i haven't loved enough then. Maybe there were times where i was ready to step into a sphere of non-freedom, or just the less of it. But...well let's just say that fate had some alternative plans. So there. Still single. And happy at that. At least for now. I guess when u are in love, u give up going solo and start learning to share. Everything would become clear. Somehow, u would start pondering and realising that u guys were meant to have a new life. Not neccessarily devoid of freedom, but definintely one that anticipates the coming of responsibilities, a time where u need to seriously look out for each other. I mean, that is what being in love is about right? U start to take care the ups and downs and lefts and rights of that special person. For something that's better? Indeed.
"How can two people who have loved each other ever really lose each other?" - Tony Parsons
Yeah. I think u got the gist of it already. This entry's inspired by the book by Tony Parsons. Take a read if u may. It may not be the greatest book u have ever read. But trust me when i say that there are issues that we see in everyday facade that are being discussed. Not to mention some close terk-jerking moments. I recall that this was said by the protagonist of the story to this woman whom he nearly had an affair with. Or rather sorta had an affair with. "You'll always matter to me Kazumi. I won't stop caring about you if you are with some other man...Four billion people in the world and i care about a handful of them. Including you. Especially you. So don't talk as though we are throwing each other away." I guess at any one point in ur life, u would have met someone special. Or many a few someone specials whom u might have shared unforgettable moments with. Uh huh. I see many of u nodding now. So reackon it true that once u have loved someone, u would never be able to really shrug him/her off? That somehow, somewhere, that person will linger in ur heart and in ur memory? So whenever we fear that as time, the great manufacturer of all things, might come and strip those memories away from u, fret not. Well at least i believe that whatever had happened would become a part of u. No matter how faded and rusty the memories may be, u will take it to the grave. So i agree. Yes. U will never really lose the person u love, once love or would have loved. Because they will never be too far away. Physicality is just a state of desire. Emotionally, there will never be a day that will go by without having that person in ur heart. What do u think?
"Life holds hostage all those we love" - Tony Parsons
I am pretty darn sure that all of us have heard about the phase "Nothing last forever." Well, sad but how awfully true. There are umpteen people out there i am sure, people who have loved and lost. Indeed. Our creator can create a life just as easily as he can take it away. What we call life. Quite clever of the author to have evoked that imagery of life as a terrorist. Oopz. Immediate word association whenever i hear the word hostage. Don't u think it's apt? I mean life does hold those whom we love in hostage. Every single day, we are confronted by risks. Every minute, we have to make decisions that could possibly endanger the ones we love. There's no room to falter. Talk about Fate and destiny. For non believers, these words are complete bollocks. But for people who do believe, it is sad that people we love, albeit to have led a righteous and honourable life, would leave without a word as life calls, beckoning them into a new world. It may not neccessarily pertain to death itself. Even choices made to leave for a new place, lead a new life counts. Anything is possible. Funny how we all strive to curb terrorism literally but we have yet to cope with a terrorist that has been bugging us since the day we hit the cradle. Life.
So what does all these point to? Appreciating whoever u have right now? I guess that's the oh-so cliche that we hear about all the time. Much as we hate to admit it, be it cuz of our constantly piling cynicism or uncontrolled ego, to go all mushy about love and life. Lemmi just put it this way. U only live once. Period.
Here's something i love..."The stars are like photographs. You can read into them what you will. You can believe that they measure all you have lost, or you can believe that they represent all you have loved and continue to love." So perhaps the next time we all get a chance to take a breather and stare at the star-filled sky, it would not only be a cosmic phenomenon, but something much more meaningful. Something that most of us have not the luxury to do anymore. Maybe i shall go on a retreat. To sit under the stars and dream away into the night sky.Nice.
she spoke at
1:32 AM
