Nothing worth having is easy.
And the truth is right there in your face.

Somethings
you just can't do without.

It's been rough.
Rough for you. And you. And you. And you.
And perhaps you too.
No one said it's going to be easy.
Neither will anything change the way things turned out or already are.
Nothing anyone can say or do.
Helplessness.
Much as they all use the great cliche.
Time.
The only given reason we're all still here.

You.
The idea of it all.
It overwhelms.
In transcendence.
Soft silences. Long pauses.
Gentle touches.
Beating hearts.
The beauty of it all.
Without a word, rhyme or reason.
Me.

I love my long bus rides.

Somethings should never been said.
Why do you need to say it after so long?
Think about it.
You are f***ed up.
I don't like you very much.

Purely baised.

And the random chancing upon a Fort Minor track.

Slip out the Back

You know me, I used to get caught up in everyday life
Tried to make it through my day so I could sleep at night
Tried to figure out my way through the maze
Of rights and wrongs, but like you used to say
Nothing feels like it's really worth it
Forget perfect, I'm trying not to be worthless
Since I last saw you I been looking for a purpose
Well I met this kid who thought like I did
He had a weird way of looking at it
This is what he said

Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cos you don't wanna be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared
Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cos you don't wanna be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared

I don't remember where I met him or remember his name
But he walked funny like he was just too big for his frame
Just over five foot but he weighed about fifty
And what he said just seemed so right it stuck with me
Listen its like poker you can play your best
But you got to know when to fold your cards and take a rest
And know when to hold your cards and hold your breath
And hope that nobody else is stacking the deck
becauseI don't need to tell you that life isn't fair,
it doesn't careIt arbitrarily cuts off your air,
and like you I want someone to say its okay
But in the truest parts of our hearts everybody's afraid
But just underappreciated and overwhelmed
Fighting so hard to hide our fear that were scaring ourselves
You understand when I'm saying that you always did
But its different in the words of a cowardly kid

Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cos you don't wanna be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared
Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cos you don't wanna be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared

I'm no hero, you remember how I was, you know
All I ever did was worry, feeling out of control
To the point where everything was going end over end
I'm spinning around in circles again
This is where you come in
All of this to explain to you why
I had to separate myself away from yesterday's life
Please remember this isn't how I hoped it would be
But I had to protect you from me

Thats why I slipped out the back before you knew I was there
I know you felt unprepared
But every single time I was around I just bring you down
And I could tell that it was time to be scared
Thats why I slipped out the back before you knew I was there
And I know the way I left wasn't fair
I didn't want to be around just to bring you down
I'm not a hero but don't think I didn't care

Mike the lyricist.
Brilliance.

In a state of insomnia.

Learning to rest.
Learning to breathe a little more.

she spoke at
12:20 AM