It's freaky when you read a novel at this precise moment,
only to see it reflect upon your EXACT thoughts.
It almost seems too real.
And i can only silently wish that i could take back everything i said.

I'm sorry if i scared you.
Or if i hurt you with what i said.
Nobody wants to hear those things.
And most definitely not you.

All i know is that
I'm scared too.

"Dogs of Babel" is a really good read.
And the marvels of her words never fail to amaze me.

"Suicide is just a moment.
For just a moment, it doesn't matter that you've got people who love you
and the sun is shining and there's a movie coming out this weekend
that you've been dying to see.
It hits you all of a sudden that nothing is ever going to be okay, ever,
and you kind of dare yourself: Is this it?
You start thinking that you've known this was coming all along,
but you don't know if today's going to be the day.
And if you think about it too much, it's probably not.
But you dare yourself.
You pick up a knife and press it gently to your skin,
you look out a nineteenth-story window and you think,
i could just do it. I could just do it.
And most of the time, you look at the height and you get scared,
or you think about the other people at the sidewalk below -
what if there are kids coming home from school
and they have to spend the rest of their lives trying to forget
this terrible thing you are going to make them see?
And the moment is over.
You think about how sad it would've been
if you never got to see that movie,
and you look at your dog
and wonder who would've taken care of her if you had gone.
And you go back to normal.
But you keep it there in your mind.
Even if you never take yourself up on it,
it gives you a kind of comfort to know that the day is yours to choose.
You tuck it away in your brain like sour candy tucked in your cheek,
and the pukering memory it leaves behind,
the rough pleasure of running your tongue over it's strange terrain,
is exactly the same."

Ok despite the subject matter,
which i assure you is not one of mine right this moment,
although i am sure every single person reading this has gone through such,
this is what i call brilliant writing.
Nothing complex.
Simple, succinct.

Like what everything ought to be.

she spoke at
7:57 PM